Submitted by ThrowRApeachbird975 t3_11vfh1h in relationship_advice
Throw away for obvious reasons.
I need so advice although I think I know the answer. I (f37) have been with my fiancé (m37) for 5 years. Engaged for about a year and a half. I have two boys 9 & 12 from a previous marriage. My fiancé has been known to have issues with alcoholism but has honestly been keeping it under control for the past three years. Today we we’re celebrating it being a week until our wedding with a few drinks with our close friends. Something we’ve done without incident many many times. Today something snapped in him and he completely lost his mind. It started when he tried to drive and I told him it was not a good idea. After that it was name calling, saying extremely hurtful things and than eventually me leaving to a friends to get away from a extremely heated situation that was going no where fast. He punched my window of my car door and screamed that if I left we were over. Of course I left anyway bc who would stay after that. I came back hours later and of course he comes rolling in not to long after. When I walk into our room I discover he’s trashed pretty much all of my skin care, hair care, perfumes, pretty much anything that I use everyday and it’s broken everywhere. These weren’t cheap items either. When he walks in behind me he starts yelling bc he says he couldn’t find his watch bc of all my stuff. Starts throwing it around again and I walk over to show him it’s been sitting where I told him it was earlier all along. He the proceeds to pick everything up throwing it onto the counter top claiming to be cleaning. All while saying “we’re done, I told you not to leave”. I asked him what he thought would’ve happened if I’d have stayed. He then throw everything back off the counter this time ensuring it was all broken all over the floor.
At this point it’s getting late and even though he’s telling me to leave I grab my pillow and blanket and head to the living room. He locks the bedroom door and then a few mins later comes out into the living room and passes out in a recliner without saying a word.
I’m completely beside myself, so much money has gone into this wedding and all of our friends and family have paid to much and invested so much time and their own money to be there.
This isn’t my fiancé, he’s never broken or damaged anything before. It’s so out of the blue for the super loving and gentle person that I’ve spent the last 5 years with. And to my knowledge he hadn’t had a great amount of alcohol when it happened. Luckily, my boys weren’t here when all this happened and despite his violence towards objects never touched me. Obviously I have to make a decision asap but the thought of uprooting my children and the life we’ve built together is absolutely heartbreaking.