when they have a kid it would be a qualifying event and they can switch back to employer plans

We have talked. Sadly, in my family, talking doesn't amount to much. At the same time, talking about it anymore only loses us ground.

That's why I send her the reminders every month. Guess that's really the best I can do for now. My loans are nearly paid off. 1 to 2 years.

I was hoping for something faster so I could focus on those, but I guess it just doesn't exist.

It's a rough situation, but I really appreciate you taking the time to give your insight. Overall, it did teach me a huge lesson 🤪

Call the IRS to discuss. You might be able to convince them that you did everything required by law to return the excess contribution - that the withdrawal was actually the return of excess contribution. It's just not coded properly on 1099-R.

Again, I’m not saying force anything on your sister. I’m saying have a chat with a grown up (she is a grown up right?). Tell her that your generosity put you in a bad spot and she needs to take control of pay way more to what SHE took advantage of.

Personally I’d sit down with her and explain that you loved to help her, even though I don’t think you helped with anything. But you had generosity to give. List all the CCs smallest to largest and tackle them both TOGETHER one by one, paying extra on the smallest balance and paying minimums on the highest.

Looks like it made $0.01 in interest, but that was also removed with the $6000. Would there have been a form for "return of excess contribution"?

I've heard there's some benefits to leasing versus financing, but I'll take your word for that. Either way. Can't get rid of the cars, and they aren't the problem anyway.

And I get the excuses thing. I am trying to salvage a situation without alienating family or losing entirely what I have built for myself. It'd be easier if I could just pass off her portion to her and get it off my accounts, but outside of legal action, I don't see that happening.

I was hoping for some option that would do anything similar to that but I guess there just isn't anything.

Thanks for your advice. It is good advice I just can't force it on her and that's the issue 😞

I’m sure you can get a free consultation to find out.

yeah that is your total

you might want to check what it is as a family for when you have a kid

Ask the CPA to contact the IRS for you.

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Was there any change in account value between the 2021 contribution and withdrawal? For example, if account value immediately before contribution was $30000.00, contribution was $6000.00, and account value was $36000.00 immediately before withdrawal, then there is no change.

>I spoke with Vanguard who had said I should just take it back out, so I ended up transferring the money back into my bank account a few days later.

You were supposed to go through "return of excess contribution", not just a withdrawal. Withdrawal does not undo a contribution unless the net income attributable is also removed.

With lawyer fees I wonder if it's worth the hassle then?

You’re all over the place. Leasing vehicles? No! That’s the most expensive way to drive cars. Your cars pay for themselves? I doubt it but okay.

It seems like you have a lot of excuses that you just can’t get away from. Your sister needs to be a grown adult, I get you can’t make her pay anything - however, your generosity of allowing her to boost her credit and use your credit cards should hold some weight.

I don’t have any other advice besides getting yourself on a detailed budget and cutting out any extra expenses.

You can talk to a lawyer and they can try to bargain it down and you have to pay them but otherwise no.

You may find these links helpful:

• Retirement Accounts
• "How to handle $"

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Yeah. I figured. If I could, I'd just file bankruptcy and start rebuilding myself.

I make $66k to $70k with 2 jobs. She's on contract right now for $130k, so technically speaking, she could pay it off in a year.

It'd be great if I could just push her portion on to her and be done with it.

The way our plan worked for Pharmacy portion was just that the meds were not covered by the normal pharmacy benefit at all, the claim was denied, but then the cost was picked up by the fertility/ART benefit. My plan offered $7500 worth of lifetime coverage for prescription drugs as part of IVF and we blew past it in the first cycle (total cost was around $9k for meds, so $1.5k out of pocket for us). You just will want to make sure the infertility benefit will cover the pharmacy portion, if the pharmacy part of the plan itself isn't offering coverage for fertility medication.

Most "debt relief" is to tank your credit badly enough and not pay until the companies are willing to settle.

Have you looked at taking each portion and looking at how much it would take to pay off in 5 years? Can each of you afford that share?

I have a budget for myself. The vehicles pay for themselves, but if I were more on the ball, I would have leased instead of financed. But when it was just me, none of this was an issue.

I send my sister a detailed email every month with what she needs to pay on what's owed. But I also can't force her to pay anything more than what she does.

I was hoping she could get a heloc to pay off her portion so I could remove her from the accounts, but she doesn't have the credit score, and mine has now tanked so debt relief seems to be my only option.

We won't default or anything like that, but we also aren't making real progress.

I put both of us in. The price shown didn't say "per person" so I assumed it was our total, but I guess it's possible it wasn't.

$850 sounds low for a couple - are you just putting your wife on marketplace insurance?

Thanks. Honestly I get a bit confused about pharmacy coverage and how that gets intertwined with everything. My wife's plan through her job had a separate pharmacy administrator. My plan at my last company had a pharmacy-specific deductible, while my current plan does not. But maybe that's all irrelevant regarding IVF if infertility treatment isn't broadly covered regardless.

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Right, that's why I said

>I know I'd need to put the actual plans side-by-side to compare everything else.

Yep, I clicked through their menus and it told me I was ineligible for the subsidy, and that enrollment doesn't open up again until January. So just doing some due diligence right now.