Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
theflamingsword101 t1_jclviuk wrote
Greed. It's all just unbridled greed!
AUWarEagle82 t1_jclv1h5 wrote
It's true! I work remotely and I never visited SVB to deposit any money! I didn't think they would catch on to me this quickly.
New_Stats t1_jcltlgq wrote
Reply to comment by sdaciuk in SVB blames remote work for bank failure by Loud_Adagio2222
oh shit good point, I didn't even think to ask because it had fuck all to do with it
ScottEATF t1_jcltikk wrote
SVB failed because of investment decisions that would have had to have been helmed by the absolute highest level of management.
That level of management would enjoy the ability to come and go as they please regardless of SVB's remote work policy.
Having employees in an office or not would not affect SVBs executives from adopting investment strategies that included covering short term deposits with long term investments without aggressive hedges against interest rate fluctuations.
They choose those instruments because that's where the highest return was at the time. They did not consider long term implications of that because they were concerned with short term profitability. Likely because their compensation and bonuses hinge on meeting profitability margins, not ensuring the future stability of the bank.
sdaciuk t1_jcltevr wrote
Reply to comment by New_Stats in SVB blames remote work for bank failure by Loud_Adagio2222
But did you check to make sure none of their staff worked remotely on those decisions?
beetus_gerulaitis t1_jclt2dm wrote
Any idiot knows SVB failed because Tom Brady left the Pats for the Bucs.
HiE7q4mT t1_jclsbi9 wrote
Reply to comment by EquivalentInflation in Residents’ Right to Be Rude Upheld by Massachusetts Supreme Court by JackFunk
It's only by virtue of prohibiting rudeness that it was struck down. If people are being disruptive or threatening, they could be removed under a different or revised code.
Getting up and saying quietly, 'Mr. Mayor you are a twatwaffle' is rudeness. Screaming the alphabet at the town hall because it keeps the reptilians away is disruptive, even if the person does not mean to be rude, and their speech not offensive in terms of content.
[deleted] t1_jclsa2d wrote
[deleted]
Xyrus2000 t1_jcls0ds wrote
Pretty sure it was the lack of Furbys.
Educational_Hawk1029 t1_jclqgui wrote
Made me think of Ghost Busters. “Being miserable and treating others like dirt is every New Yorker’s God-given right!”
opiewhiskas t1_jclq9qp wrote
I would have blamed the green power ranger honestly…..that damn ocarina
New_Stats t1_jclorou wrote
I went into my small, regional bank today to see if the bank was in any danger. They are not, they didn't invest in crypto or anything as risky as SVB invested in, because they aren't fucking mooks. They also have a thing called risk management, because they aren't insane.
ManyFacedGodxxx t1_jclo1wx wrote
“Woke” Remote Work or “Un-Woke??” /s
I would gone with Red Algae or UFOs myself but sure, remote work, why not…
Ma1eficent t1_jclnaww wrote
Reply to comment by EquivalentInflation in Residents’ Right to Be Rude Upheld by Massachusetts Supreme Court by JackFunk
Lol, how hilarious. Apparently you failed to comprehend what you read as it says nothing about how they can't get local government officials, and the only reference to anyone not working on the board anymore is a guy who was on it but now has been replaced.
zwaaa t1_jclmr0k wrote
Are you sure it was remote work? Are you sure it wasn't greed?
SuitableNegotiation5 t1_jcll2vo wrote
Dear SVB: G.F.Y.
Your own "business practices" and risky behavior caused this.
Stop trying to shift the blame, no one is buying it.
ChemtrailExpert t1_jclke47 wrote
Reply to comment by imnotreel in San Francisco Cop Gets Revenge on Man Who Insulted His Mom: 'He's in The Clink' by Best_Outcome_5960
He wouldn’t have ran the warrant check if the guy hadn’t insulted his mother and to be honest, a cop will be able to find something you are doing that is illegal 100% of the time.
NetDork t1_jcljwdg wrote
Am increase in employee productivity led to their downfall? Sure.
chernobyl169 t1_jcljul2 wrote
Reply to comment by jayfeather31 in SVB blames remote work for bank failure by Loud_Adagio2222
It's an interesting variant of the Chewbacca Defense, I guess.
Darklord_Bravo t1_jcljpi1 wrote
Well, since it goes both ways, just start calling people like this filthy, disgusting names, and insulting their family. If you can't take it, GTFO. Apparently it's legal, so why not?
If you're just going to throw consideration out the window, why should I adhere to those rules, when others clearly wont?
I'm not saying it's appropriate, or even right. But if you have to sit there and listen to the rude toxicity of these people, I say go ahead and give it right back.
jayfeather31 t1_jclhxj2 wrote
That doesn't even make any sense.
EquivalentInflation t1_jclh0cr wrote
Reply to comment by Ma1eficent in Residents’ Right to Be Rude Upheld by Massachusetts Supreme Court by JackFunk
…did you read the article? The whole fucking point is that everyone is quitting and they can’t get anyone to do this job.
What am I talking about, this is Reddit, of course you didn’t read.
dw444 t1_jclgjxq wrote
Is this the same town that tried to invent the guilty bystander circa 1997?
marvelmon t1_jclfkj6 wrote
Of course. Had nothing to do with SVB not having a risk manager watching their investments.
EquivalentInflation t1_jclw696 wrote
Reply to comment by Ma1eficent in Residents’ Right to Be Rude Upheld by Massachusetts Supreme Court by JackFunk
> Still, some observers caution that unchecked unpleasantness could have unintended consequences: fewer volunteers to take on the often thankless work of running town boards, for example, and fewer opportunities for public comment, which are not required by law.