Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
The_Northern_Light t1_jc7x1g7 wrote
Reply to comment by damola93 in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Exactly. It may or may not be criminally negligent but it sure smells like it is.
Saying they were “too safe” when they went so heavy on hold to maturity long duration treasuries when we were at zero overnight rate because “they were treasuries” is just delusional.
They were in the riskiest asset they could be without having additional reserve requirement and they were utterly unhedged. They saw a train coming and tied themselves to the tracks.
[deleted] t1_jc7v6aw wrote
[deleted] t1_jc7sdu2 wrote
[deleted] t1_jc7rwp4 wrote
not_that_planet t1_jc7rj0a wrote
Reply to Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
I guess what? The last "financial crimes" senior manager got fired because he said SVB was doing crimes and the board didn't like him using those words?
LamarMillerMVP t1_jc7r37p wrote
Reply to comment by SuckMyBallz in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
The bank run happened because the bank was technically insolvent, and the situation was quickly deteriorating. Bonds are low risk of default. They are not “low risk” in an economic sense. If I take my money and I stuff it in a mattress, that’s low risk that the government or a bank will steal it from me, but high risk in an economic sense - it will become less valuable over time, unless all investments shrink.
What happened here was that the bank tried to invest in assets that had low risk of default, and in order to get better percentage terms, said “ok and also you can take my money for a very long time without giving it back.” As a result of that, they got more money. But that gives you more money because it’s risky! And a bank’s job is specifically to manage this exact type of risk - borrowing short to lend long is the core business model. And they lost track of what they were doing, because their deposits grew immensely in just a few months.
On paper, SVB was in the worst shape of pretty much any major bank, and that fact was what sparked the run. When you hear these VC guys going apeshit - these guys didn’t spark the run. They’re morons, they’re screeching because they were almost left holding the bag, and the bag was emptying. The guys who actually “started” the run were fine, because they understood what was happening and acted appropriately
kim-jong-Cage t1_jc7pt3j wrote
Reply to Boca Raton Woman Asks City Board to Create ‘Sugar Daddy and Mommy Appreciation Day’ by ohnoshebettadont18
What best I can do is some complementary wolf cola.
Psychomadeye t1_jc7mwvq wrote
Reply to comment by diggidydav in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Being bad at banking? Outsider trading?
Psychomadeye t1_jc7mssl wrote
Reply to comment by spydormunkay in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Bank failed. Skill issue.
Psychomadeye t1_jc7mluo wrote
Reply to comment by Nekrofeeelyah in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
I thought the bank failure was just a skill issue. Have charges actually been filed?
Accomplished_Camp_88 t1_jc7l1h4 wrote
Reply to Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
It’s short for Financial Crime Prevention or anti Financial Crime Regulation compliance.
Did anyone actually think they advertised to hire a crook?
Like in the minions movie?
Blame SVB for mismanaging interest rate risk but no - they didn’t actually advertise looking for a villain boss.
Kirshnerd t1_jc7k24m wrote
Reply to comment by takeoff_power_set in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Skip the middle step, just delete Fox "News"
sreback t1_jc7jwm2 wrote
Reply to Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
All banks have a Financial Crimes Compliance department. It's required by the BSA (Bank Secrecy Act).
atascon t1_jc7itsr wrote
Reply to comment by hurtfullobster in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Associates are not usually hourly employees “in the majority of banks.” At least not in the revenue-generating parts of banks.
[deleted] t1_jc7hxd5 wrote
DavidlikesPeace t1_jc7h4ph wrote
Reply to comment by WorshipNickOfferman in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Diversification is caution. Putting all your loot in one basket is reckless. If I put all my stock into Facebook that wouldn't make me smart.
I do like how you value treasury bonds. They are in truth a vital foundation to the economy. But is it cautious to put all your capital in a long term very low liquid asset? Almost assuredly no!
[deleted] t1_jc7gchy wrote
Reply to comment by Globalist2 in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
[deleted]
AnotherBadPlayer t1_jc7fgdp wrote
Reply to Boca Raton Woman Asks City Board to Create ‘Sugar Daddy and Mommy Appreciation Day’ by ohnoshebettadont18
It looks like Nicki Minaj and Dog The Bounty Hunter's wife spliced together.
Jacuul t1_jc7ea5u wrote
Reply to comment by TealPotato in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
See, there is where you are mistaken, you're reading it as SVP of Financial Crimes Prevention, but if you look in the super small print it says SVP of ^(^(commiting)) Financial Crimes
[deleted] t1_jc7duw1 wrote
Reply to comment by Shurigin in Boca Raton Woman Asks City Board to Create ‘Sugar Daddy and Mommy Appreciation Day’ by ohnoshebettadont18
[removed]
SuckMyBallz t1_jc7ayld wrote
Reply to comment by LamarMillerMVP in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
What bad decisions? They were invested in the most boring investments possible; bonds. Who could've predicted a bank run?
SuckMyBallz t1_jc7ah9r wrote
Reply to comment by Greenmind76 in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Nobody got bailed out here though except people who had their money in the bank. The bank didn't get bailed out. They no longer exist. The feds are going to give everyone their money that they deposited then recoup the costs by selling off the banks assets. No body is getting free money in this scenario. The back is shutdown and the consumers who had money in the bank will be made whole. This is the opposite of the 08-09 bullshit.
ultramatt1 t1_jc78hz4 wrote
Reply to comment by san_serifs in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
You don’t need to fully sell all the individual positions but the majority of your equity investments should definitely be in index funds
Lambylambowski t1_jc789ay wrote
Reply to comment by ACrazyTopT in Silicon Valley Bank posted 'financial crimes' senior manager job listing just before closure by carolinaindian02
Good thing it's in r/not the onion I guess
Dyslexic_Dog25 t1_jc7zo79 wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in Middletown, RI affordable housing committee member can’t afford to live in hometown, resigns by ArmchairExperts
Right? I was going to say, "why is a 12 year old in charge of affordable housing?"