Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
[deleted] t1_jbjy8gd wrote
Reply to comment by Fracture_98 in NASA fixes solar observation spacecraft by turning it off and turning it on again by Byzantium
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SapperInTexas t1_jbjvjad wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
Terry Pratchett was right. If you constructed a button that would destroy the universe, and painted a sign warning people not to touch it, the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
All_Day_ADHD t1_jbjurx0 wrote
Reply to comment by Crooked_Cock in 4 kidnapped Americans crossed into Mexico for health care by yehonatanst
Yup, just saw yesterday on the news, using US military against the cartel.
uwantSAMOA t1_jbjsdai wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
Pandemic Patch 1.2 bout to be lit
Peefersteefers t1_jbjsagi wrote
Reply to NYC Mayor Eric Adams is telling stores to have customers remove their face masks by Mighty_L_LORT
I'm in NY, and I just got Covid for the first time. Funny how I managed to avoid it for 3 years while everyone was cautious, then got it as soon as this dipshit forces people to stop being careful.
I hate this dude with a passion.
[deleted] t1_jbjrv8k wrote
BlackFerro t1_jbjru0k wrote
Reply to Slap fighting: The next big thing, or unsporting stupidity? The competitors stand rigidly upright with their hands behind their backs, waiting to absorb a brutal slap to the face. by gear-heads
It's really really dumb, and I'm here for it.
santathe1 t1_jbjr7do wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
Wake up babe, the new pandemic starter just dropped.
EspHack t1_jbjr59i wrote
Reply to comment by chemamatic in Ontario man who declined rental insurance 'panicked' when told he must pay $50K for stolen truck by phishieee
his helicopter mom perhaps
we totally need to outlaw risk, it'll be great once no one can experience personal responsibility and consequences, that will lead to rational and totally not reckless society, as we're increasingly witnessing today
shattasma t1_jbjqztb wrote
Reply to comment by rumblemania in NYC Mayor Eric Adams is telling stores to have customers remove their face masks by Mighty_L_LORT
Obviously.
Martha’s vineyard freaked the fuck out when they actually were called to action to be a sanctuary city… which THEY decided to do designate upon themselves lol.
They literally used the national guard to get the (legally transported) immigrants out of their town.
Instead they tried to spin the story as a “cruel” right wing political stunt that was “obviously illegal.”…. Even though all the immigrants signed papers saying they wanted to go there and the vineyard is legally a sanctuary city… hence de santis never actually got into legal trouble. He was sued; anybody can be sued; it’s not the same as being charged and the lawsuits did not go anywhere last I checked lol.
It’s amazing to see the left defend the richest class of people when their true colors were shown to be a bunch of “ rules For thee but not for me; especially when I actually have to follow through with my virtue signaling” crap.
Like neither major party is good; why defend one over the other when they are both crap? Get behind individuals, not parties.
But hey, how else are people supposed to know you’re morally superior unless you virtue signal with words and never have to actually follow through? It’s a politicians wet dream
Cypher360 t1_jbjqxcu wrote
Reply to comment by redbull21369 in Person arrested for DUI twice in five hours in York County, PA by ChristmasWizzard
So after being arrested for the 3rd time, did she get released again or they let her get sober first?
rood_sandstorm t1_jbjqqkh wrote
Newphone_New_Account t1_jbjouyy wrote
Reply to comment by Solidsnakeerection in A Connecticut school lunch lady is charged with giving students obscene films and nude images. by Mccar23
Meatloaf Sandwich!
Newphone_New_Account t1_jbjomrm wrote
Awkward_Mixture_8990 t1_jbjokjf wrote
Reply to comment by billyjack669 in Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
Finally my LARPing pays off!!!
bittyboyben t1_jbjnzmq wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
“In todays top story Scientists were forced to stop drilling today after finding a strange ancient cavern. Reports suggest a giant, realistic Baphomet statue was chained to the floor and walls, which themselves were covered in ancient writing that was revealed to be inked in human infantile blood. Further reports suggest that a strange book was found on a ornate pedestal next to statue which itself was glowing red with what was described as a ‘demonic energy field’. Scientists have taken the book, and are reading it aloud now in an attempt at translation. Further updates at 11”
billyjack669 t1_jbjmg3n wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
I see this as an absolute win!
Solidsnakeerection t1_jbjlxbz wrote
Reply to A Connecticut school lunch lady is charged with giving students obscene films and nude images. by Mccar23
Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe
MattressDrippings t1_jbjlvr0 wrote
Reply to Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
We just can’t help ourselves, can we…? :(
JiminyDickish t1_jbjlrpm wrote
Reply to comment by NerdHunt in City of Toronto puts up sign limiting barking at dog park, removes it following public scrutiny by nimobo
What if you lived there before the dog park?
shackleton01 t1_jbjkn7x wrote
Kennedys? In PA?
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[deleted] t1_jbjkgof wrote
Reply to comment by hydrOHxide in Popular beer recalled in Queensland for having 'excess alcohol' by Adrian-Wapcaplet
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FieldOk884 OP t1_jbjkb5m wrote
Reply to comment by kenlasalle in Scientists revive a ‘zombie virus’ that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost by FieldOk884
Wouldn't that be nice? LoL!
AquaticRed76 t1_jbjywuv wrote
Reply to comment by Byzantium in NASA fixes solar observation spacecraft by turning it off and turning it on again by Byzantium
You joke but "turn it off and on again" happens more often than you'd think at NASA.