agirl1313 t1_jeezecs wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:06 PM

Since buttered toast always lands butter side down on the ground and cats always land on their feet (physics) the paradox will create a perpetually rotating cat that never touches the ground.

litterboxhero t1_jeewyfp wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:50 PM

Reply to Told her to stop chewing my laundry basket and she gave me this look by shadowvirl

Wait, you call my chew toy a laundry basket? That would explain why you keep putting dirty clothes in my chew toy.

Cauliflower_Cock t1_jeewx8w wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:50 PM

Reply to comment by ForeverAWino in I don’t think that’s a cucumber by Boneal171

Maybe they are raisin money for cucumber farmers?

Greycloak42 t1_jeewlos wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:48 PM

Reply to Neighborhood Watch by Prynce27

Because of South Park I always thought this guy looked Canadian. I have a sign with that figure outside of my house, but it definitely doesn't have that text.

Cycleguy57 t1_jeewihi wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:47 PM

Reply to comment by DarthGuber in Bathroom poem by unknown_Eel

I was going to say it’s been around since at least the early 70’s

princesscupcake11 t1_jeew86a wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:45 PM

Reply to comment by CalmError in My pop told me he had a nice chainsaw outside, so I checked it out by SignificanceWest5281

I tell all my jokes to my siblings and friends. The responses are just as good 😊

formerPhillyguy t1_jeew2cy wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:44 PM

Reply to We tried something, didn't work by its_yo_mamma

A cat balloon weight. Looks like it worked perfectly.

Ayahuasca-Dreamin t1_jeevyxo wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:44 PM

Reply to comment by 7-13-5 in My pop told me he had a nice chainsaw outside, so I checked it out by SignificanceWest5281

OP’s father is a 3rd degree and his father was a 3rd degree and his father’s father made it to 4th degree. Destiny awaits

Oscarpepe t1_jeevbxf wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:39 PM

Reply to How did this happen?! by Flubbuns

Murican discovering how vegetables works

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Reply to Neighborhood Watch by Prynce27

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DryCrack321 t1_jeev2uj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:38 PM

Reply to We tried something, didn't work by its_yo_mamma

I’m impressed you even managed to get one balloon tied to your cat

[deleted] t1_jeeuu77 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:36 PM

Reply to Chess 2 just dropped, what's your opening move? by DaGuy4All

[removed]

KorgX3 t1_jeeunn5 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:35 PM

Reply to Chess 2 just dropped, what's your opening move? by DaGuy4All

I like to get a rook to Mercury asap and just cultivate my mass while the opposing army approaches. As soon as they get in range of my rook, I sacrifice my queen to convert it into a brothel. Most people don't invest in lust protection so they have to make raw saving throws which really suck so early in the game.