Insert state here “of course it’s ______”

My ass: “one paddle please”

That is wrong unless there is a gag involved.

Yes.

Id heat takeout/delivery food in the oven before serving it. No germs, hot meal, it was a win win. I haven’t done that since though.

It's purr-fect.

Boss: Something, something, need the copy by blah, blah deadline...

Worker: Oh look, a squirrel!... Sure thing boss!

Sadly, at first I thought this was a "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" reference......

I (tried to) make a joke

You can't post picture like that without sample video or audio of this

Sugar high

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Could be worse, could be R Kelly.

This is probability class

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Wrong. BASEketball. Totally feasible.

What in the wide wide world of sports is goin on here?

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MacGyver is the way to go then! Keep up the good work 🤘🏼

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Leaves 'waffle marks'

Paddle?

My ass!

While you were all looking in awe, your uncle didn’t actually sever his thumb at the knuckle. In fact, what you saw was the top half of one thumb and the bottom half of the other thumb. Interestingly enough, your grandpa l employed similar visual trickery involving the thumb when saying “I got your nose”. I hope this clears up a few things for those who possess skills of deduction that are inferior to my own.

You ever have a mandarin high? Delicious.

No the reason is, we don’t use dubbing for tv and movies.