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This is what I do but the disappear usually involves a hospital and the unrecognizable is because of scars 🤷🏻‍♀️

Man, I guess it’s up to us to understand our feelings so we can best explain them to others. Because we can’t expect others to want to understand us well enough that they learn to decipher our feelings.

That's a fad... You kind of did it because others were doing it. You did it based on others and what they think.

I guess to illustrate my point farther, if you really don't care what people think, you also be rude. You could say the n word, and ruin all chances of ever being employed again. What people think impacts your employability. But that's not a problem, because you don't care what people think right? So you can tell your mom you hate her, even though you love her, because who cares what she thinks.

I mean, it's just ridiculous. "Don't care what others think" is impractical, but it's also impossible to implement. It's like when someone says "cheer up" - oh wow I never thought of that - I just WON'T be sad. Thanks !

Oh shut up... Only entitled assholes will believe this

Reflecting on where you are already is definitely a positive way to reframe it

Great point!

Not to have kids.

Oh no I'm going to cry from this... Should've listen and let go when he first said it.. but I foolishly tried to convince him thinking that its just his insecurity and we can work it out. He did come back around once but in the end left for good. People said its good riddance but I'm still left questioning. Sorry for the rant :(

Feels like that’s the case for sure

Achieving the thing isn’t the end goal—there’s no resting in paradise after

I think accepting that you’re not where you want to be is crucial to growth. You can’t change what already happened, but you have the opportunity to take what you’ve learned and use that to propel yourself to new heights. Sure it’s easy to say, and believe me I’m definitely where I’d like to be. But no amount of looking back or looking at my present will change what has happened. The future is bright if you choose to see it.

As an overweight person who goes to the gym 4x per week, those who are bigger than me inspire me to do more.

Gandalf, is that you ?

Yeah just disappear from both your full time jobs and the family the depends on you. Work on yourself (most of which would probably be fixed by having a larger salary) and return to no jobs and a destitute and rightly pissed off family.

In the 90s, we used to wear oversized plastic pacifiers as necklaces that we won at arcades, but we were just dumb kids then and actually didn't care what people thought... oh, the good Ole days. But I get your point. However, not all humans are social creatures, I'm waay happier to stay in with a popcorn movie night with just my wife and my pets, and there definitely are people who just truly don't give a shit what other people think, I used to be one of them, then started to develop all this fun anxiety and depression, now I just prefer to avoid people all together.

Or you know, do your thing, let people see your failures and successes, be open and honest about your hard work and undercut this notion that shit happens overnight.

V for vendetta

From my point of view, getting better at something is usually the fun part. It doesn't have to be sad that I haven't reached a goal yet. Let's say your fitness goal is to do 30 pushups in a row, but you can only do 20 right now. You good choose to feel all depressed that you are 10 short of your goal, or you could be like "I've gotten to 20 so far, that is pretty awesome, it will be fun to see if I can get up to 30". Having a challenge to work on and gradually overcoming it can be really fulfilling.

I hate any kind of "sit and wait for good things to happen to you" advice.

And FYI, literally nobody would ever meet other people if everybody followed this advice.

tbh success doesn't make you any happier, you get a short fleeting bit of happiness then it's just back to the grind.

This is called social-emotional learning (SEL). Kids need to know how to regulate the feelings they will inherintly have. Since 2021, at least 25 states have tried to remove the concept from school curriculums altogether. Politicians fight against SEL when they use the word "woke."

https://www.npr.org/2022/09/26/1124082878/how-social-emotional-learning-became-a-frontline-in-the-battle-against-crt

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23584837/social-emotional-learning-conservative-culture-war-in-schools

“Hard to make an entrance if you never exit.”

Only problem is there will be those jealous dick heads who will treat you or try bring up the way you were before

If i could transfer this lesson to my kids in a way that they could absorb and understand, it would be the best thing I'd ever done.

This is the problem with these things. Motivational shit is basically almost always garbage.

"Don't care what others think"

Really? Prove it. Go around with a pacifier in your mouth.

And then they cop out by saying they don't want to prove it because they don't care if I believe them.

but No. they won't prove it because they can't. We're social creatures who care what others think to varying degrees. It just doesn't sound as good to say "make sure you moderate how much of others opinions you allow to impact your behavior"

Also, you can't will yourself into uncaring what others think. So it's all fucking stupid.

Hi kids