Ok. So don't "come to" other people. But this same advice shouldn't be followed by the people who will "come to" you.

Makes sense. Just make sure at least half of all people don't see this, and it'll work.

Giraffes don't chase people, but they still get parasites attached to them. Maybe it's because they will stick their neck out for you.

The right people will come to you unless they too read this quote, then they are doing the same thing you're doing, sitting around waiting.

> forced to be self aware

Damn.

I've had AvPD traits due to childhood emotional neglect and abuse -- and, self-awareness is partly what is helping me out of this.

I can't imagine having to ignore your emotions to this degree though.

Good Luck.

Have you tried NAC?

First week at the gym sucks.

Second week is easier.

By the fourth week, you’re looking forward to it.

I wish you all the best in blasting through the suck so you can experience the enjoyment

Like the Count of Monte Cristo

Seems like you’ve got an idea of a lifestyle you want and your directing your efforts towards achieving it—that’s admirable

Just because the lifestyle of simple, doesn’t mean it’s empty

I can definitely relate to wanting simplicity and things I truly enjoy over what’s flashy and bein in a hectic environment

Unfortunately. I’m forced to be self aware just so I can appear “normal” in social settings.

That was always the plan. But the work was too hard, and I never made the progress I thought I could, so I never returned at all.

I guess it's not too late...

Damnnn I absolutely love that last paragraph

So happy to hear that for you! And selfishly it’s comforting to see possible satisfaction without over complicating it

Personal projects and people you love definitely make life feel full

Thanks for sharing this 😄

The key you’re looking for satisfaction in the present moment. People intellectualize awareness and this lose the DEPTH that can be found in every moment.

The only way to know what someone really thinks of you, is to ask them directly, believe them, and not expect them to change or try to convince them otherwise even if you don't like the answer. This applies to the guy at the corner store, your boss, and the person you think could be "the one".

1. We’re all, too an extent, lil build a bears. You can decide who you want to be and work on becoming that person regardless of age. Mental fortitude, emotional intelligence, self disciple, impulse control, fit and healthy,….whomever you imagine yourself to be and skills you wish you had, you can be that. It’s right there. Youtube, podcasts, books, it’s there. You are not experiencing any hardship that hasn’t already been experienced & conquered by ppl who came before you.

2. Don’t just get into relationships and wing them. They require certain skills. Research them and master them as best you can. Then don’t settle.

3. Learn the difference between love and attachment.

4. If you’re constantly struggling to start or complete a goal, there’s likely something going on mentally. Explore your mental health. You gotta learn to control your mind and not the other way around.

So, essentially, everything is hyper-intensified?

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I think the scary part of your first paragraph is getting caught in a cycle of constantly paying it forward and never paying yourself now

I don’t think I want to pay it forward for decades and decades and then at 80 realize I never cashed in to enjoy it now

Thanks for writing this it got me thinking!

What if I want to be by myself?

The second half of what you wrote is definitely major! Comparing to others, especially in the same age group, can be so damaging and demotivating

Hope you can overcome that urge!! 😄

I’m glad you asked because I’d like to raise awareness. First I want to point out that I do not feel emotions like most people. What I feel is often amped to a thousand. That’s because I have a severe form of BPD caused from childhood trauma. (I am in therapy and taking both antidepressants and antipsychotics to keep me sane.)

Let’s start with sadness. Sadness downright makes me cry, it’s deep hurt that leaves me wailing with hot thick tears rolling down my face almost every time. Why am I crying? Well this morning it was because I was abruptly woken up at 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep. It felt like the world was ending. I am aware now that it wasn’t that bad, but in the moment that doesn’t compute with me. I feel genuine pain in my soul and I can’t help but express it.

Anger is uncontrollable. 0-100. Once, back when I wasn’t going to therapy I destroyed my entire room searching for my wallet. What you’d find annoying, I’ll find infuriating. I turned tables, flung my chair, broke things. Seething red hot, hyperventilating, I was a danger to myself and others, which shames me to admit.

Happiness is pure bliss. It’s euphoric, I’m all smiles and giggles, to the point where I’ve thrown up because of it. Just yesterday I laughed so hard I almost went faint. What was I laughing at? Tiktok had 3 funny videos in a row, each one amplifying the mood.

My personal favorite is numbness. I have all the answers, the best advice, my mind is clear and I can enjoy my surroundings. Intrusive thoughts, anxiety or paranoia, I can handle these negative feelings without having to feel all the ups and downs. I can be myself without inner turmoil.

Boredom makes me suicidal, not even kidding. Plus right now I’m rather focused typing this out so my face is flushed and I feel irritation and loss of patience every time I take a moment to think of what other example to write next. Which feels like such in-your-face proof to myself that this mental illness is fvcking exhausting. You don’t realize how many emotions you go through in a day until you’re forced to feel every aspect.

I kind of have the feel of the fisherman now. I got a job that, while it's not enough to become independent and leave my house, it does cover all my personal needs and wants. I wake up, go to work, come home and play videogames until time to sleep.

I'm almost graduating from college (Which I don't care or feel accomplished at all. I just do it so people stop asking me when I'm graduating). Literally the only reason I have to do it is to truly have the free time to play games.

After that I just want to find a job that allow me to live by myself and when that's achieved... that's it. I think I will have a life that I want. I don't need to be rich, I don't need to have a bodybuilding body, I just want a comfortable life.

Thanks! I needed this today! ❤️ 🙌

Practically what a therapist does

You must really suck at tag.

He’s literally the only reason I care about baseball these days.